Memoryless

New year dies when it is new. Like everything else that is new.

This year nothing new followed after the so called new year.

I felt boredom and mundanity were waiting for a chance to come out.

"Was it like the same last year also?"
"Must've been, right?"

That made me think. About last new year and many others that came and went before.
I could remember only one when my dad was angry and almost tore off the hall ticket for my exams. And how I tried not to miss the midnight show on TV in between the moments of fury.

"Why are you smiling?"
"Nothing". My lies start with 'nothing'. "I was trying to think about my childhood days".

He senses my lies and beats me down with a smile. Nonetheless I let him enjoy that with my stupid being.

"So what about the childhood memories?"
I couldn't possibly think anything about my childhood days. I am not able to remember any years of my life. I became numb. I am deprived of memories.

I thought of paying attention to the cactus garden we were visiting. I read all the details and carefully looked at the flowers which had such pungent smell.

Probably I can think more and let my imaginations grow boundlessly if old memories aren't hovering around always.

But that was not an easy decision to make, after all being in a cactus garden.

"What about childhood memories? Everyone has them, not so much to talk about". I managed to roll over.

"Really?". Now he is being different. "You know, I don't remember much about those days, I don't know how I used to be in school or at home. Is this only me?".

He was not sad, if not remained cool. Around the cacti, we lost the smell and emotions. They store everything inside them.

"No, not just you!".

Tied by memorylessness we started talking more about cacti.

Summer Titles

Title Brown:

I feel like plunging into the yellow deeps of the swaying wheat fields and losing myself.
Giggle inside my stomach and listen to the dry leaves hugging each other in the dry wind.

That never ending chirps and hisses of summer dryness mixed with the warm burps of quenching soil. I am going to dig my head deeper and deeper into the brownness of earth, till where I can find the sour slates that will stop my mouth from watering.

Title Soil:

One day, after seeing you, do you know what I felt like?

To get tanned. A tan that will make the paleness under my cold eyes into a mix of brown and black.

Brown of the bony skin and the black of the weary eye lashes. A sharp hot valley below your eyes sent the mad arrow heads into my head. I need help. I need you.

Title Wind:

I am woken up by the wind while jay sleeping on my stomach. Through the open windows and long aisles it comes and swirls around me in this afternoon.

A guffaw of it's pride frolic makes me hate it more. The light that comes along and fills every corner, allows no compromise. I prefer to close my eyes. I am tired and I feel it on my thighs.

May be some other day. I sure, will come to the veranda and run with you. I am learning to be in the art of loving you. When I am ready to run away with you, come in white frocks.

Oh, and these pollens are tickling me and I feel my tongue so sharp. Let me bite my tongue.